How to Hula in Kailua

So there you are, two months into your beginner hula class, when your teacher announces that everyone will be performing in the upcoming I Love Kailua Town Party festival. Doesn’t that sound like an opportunity to feel truly part of this community you grow to love more and more every day, yet also exceedingly ripe for public humiliation? Are you up for the challenge? Let’s get to work then! The first thing you need to do is practice practice practice practice practice. Fortunately, practicing hula is immensely satisfying and fun. So practice some more (although probably not as much as you need to!).

Next, you’ll need to clear your schedule the weekend of the festival for hula prep. This begins Friday afternoon when it’s time to gather the materials for your bougainvillea haku lei (flower crown). Since bougainvillea grow like crazy all over Kailua, it is easy to find a spot where the blooms spill over into public property and do a little surreptitious public service gardening. Does this count as giving back to the community? Let your kids kids help you fill a shopping bag with deep pink and coral flowers still covered with rain. Walk along the beach as a storm sweeps in from the horizon until you’re back at the car just in time to escape the next downpour.

Continue your fun Friday night on your way to kumu hula’s (teacher) house. Pull over in a shopping center and throw on your hazard lights. Wave apologetically to the car behind you and the girl in the passenger seat giving you a serious stink eye. ALOHA, FRIENDS! Do some additional public service by harvesting overgrown ti leaves in a random flower bed.

When you arrive at the hula house, strip your ti leaves (if they’re still soaked with rain, all the better) and microwave them for additional pliability. Proceed to the hula studio and add your bag of bougainvillea to the breathtaking carpet of petals spread across a tarp where you usually practice your footwork. Apologize for also bringing sand…how did that get in there? Squeeze into a spot between other new and advanced dancers, knot the tips of three strips of ti leaves, and start braiding, adding more ti leaves as necessary until it’s long enough to go around your head. Ask the people around you what draws them to hula and how long they’ve been practicing. Admire their haku lei. Learn as they teach you how to wrap bougainvillea flowers around the ti leaves. Enjoy being one of these ladies sitting in the circle of hula friends making gorgeous haku lei that fill your hearts with joy.

When the haku lei is long enough to wrap around your head, kneel in front of Kumu and bow your head low to the ground. This is so she can measure your lei against your head in order to tie it off, but it feels like an initiation. Maybe it is. When the crown is finished, bow again so she can place it on your head. Kumu announces, “Behold!” and all the women cheer. Arise! Arise and admire your headpiece! You wondered if the uneven, patchy blooms would look lopsided, but it looks perfect. Like Kumu said, with materials this beautiful, there can’t be any mistakes. When it’s time to leave, drive home under a waxing gibbous moon and feel happy.

Saturday, return to the studio for a dress rehearsal. Admire the other dances. Feel inspired and nervous and terrified. Dance once stiffly. Dance a second time, happily. Stop feeling terrified of public humiliation and feel excited.

This is it! Sunday morning! Walk to church, walk to the farmers market, walk to the festival! Feel increasingly nervous as the time approaches 11am. Feel increasingly nervous as you recognize more and more…and more…and more people in the crowd. Jabber nervously. Smile with glazed eyes like a crazy person. Practice the whole dance in your head a thousand times. The dancing is starting! Watch the lovely dancers! The Tahitian dancers are wearing coconuts! That looks so fun (except for the coconuts)! Realize you’ve had too much caffeine and not enough food. Oh well, it’s your turn to dance. (the dance starts during minute 27 in the clip below)

Step up onto the stage and smile at your adorable kids in the front row, waving at you. Remember your teacher said to smile pleasantly as if happy to see someone unexpectedly. Get distracted by thinking that’s actually happening—oh hello, HALF OF KAILUA. But here’s the best part—the dance has started…hula right, hula left, THEN NOTHING. JUST NOTHING. SPACE OUT AND FORGET WHAT COMES NEXT. WAVE YOUR ARMS AROUND AND SMILE AND JUST FORGET EVERYTHING. YOU REMEMBER NOTHING. NOTHING. See the dancers next to you doing the correct thing. Snap out of it and get back in the dance. Recover! Recover!

Feel embarrassed and yet relieved; it’s like when you’re headed to the airport and you know you forgot something, and then you remember what and it isn’t that important, and you can relax and stop worrying about it.

Well, since you’ve already messed up part of the dance, now you can just dance without worrying about messing up, because you did, and it’s fine, and you’re doing that smile, except more embarrassed then delighted surprise, but who cares—it’s a smile dang it—and it’s fine.

Enjoy the rest of the dance, especially the lovely fourth verse that talks about carrying the love of your sweetheart close to your heart. It’s over. That was so fast! Exit the stage and wish you could do it again without forgetting the beginning. But like Kumu said, it’s ok to make mistakes because maybe someone in the crowd will think, “Well, if they can do it, I can!” Don’t you love making other people feel better about themselves? You are just full of public service this weekend. 

Now you can hug your kids, chat with friends, watch the rest of the dances, and wonder if your shakiness is from adrenaline or caffeine or hunger or all. Get some ahi ceviche from Grylt and feel much better. Feel grateful and lucky and inspired by this opportunity to be immersed in Hawaii and Kailua and realize you can’t wait for your next hula class. Walk around the I Love Kailua Town Party in your lovely haku lei and fall head over heels in love with Kailua for the millionth time. What a great place to call home!