Hurricane Lane - Passport Diaries

I had a bad feeling about Hurricane Lane. The previous hurricane (Hector) was way over-hyped when it was still closer to Baja than Hawaii, so that seemed pretty silly. And maybe it had something to do with the fact that Lane coincided with the one-year anniversary of horrific Hurricane Harvey that changed the daily lives of many loved ones in Houston. But–ok, I’m just going to come out and admit it–I filled up the bathtub with water! For the first time ever! Now, come the next morning it was mostly empty, so that drain seal is something I should investigate before the next emergency.

But here’s what scared me: they closed the ports. Chris went to some emergency management meeting a year ago and one thing really stuck in his mind: in an emergency, OPEN THE PORTS. Without shipments from the mainland, the islands will run out of food in days. So when all the shipping companies went out to sea, I was like, oh crap, we might really be dipping into our deep Costco supply of school lunch snacks.

That’s when I was like JOIN THE PANICKING HOARDS! Except the grocery store was too crowded and I had other stuff to do, plus I heard the commissary checkout line was crazy long, like all the way wrapped around the whole store to the entrance, so I peaced out of that and went to the gas station for gas, Cheetos, and more wine (the essentials).

I helped lock down Eloise’s preschool for flooding and high winds, felt relieved when school was canceled, and prepared to survive on our own for weeks/indefinitely. Finally! All those survival books I read as a middle schooler will come in handy! But the next morning dawned along with the horrifying realization that I WAS OUT OF DEODORANT. T minus 12 hours and I’ve already become a barbarian! Nooooooo! This called for an emergency run to Target.

I had heard tantalizing rumors of shelves emptied by frenzied shoppers, so I told the kids to be on the lookout as we headed in for some hurri-tourism and deodorant retrieval. I prepared them for something very shocking before we went in, so the altered appearance of our rainy day happy place wouldn’t alarm them. I vividly remember empty shelves in Japan after the earthquake, when roads were too damaged to restock. Scary stuff: you’re on your own, right?

“I thought you said the shelves were all empty,” Isaac said. “I still see lots of things to buy.”

It was true. Everything looked totally normal. Target is always full of people exactly like me (and Japanese tourists), but today I felt like we parents-of-young-children were really representing. Bored kids had impromptu play dates and covet-all-the-toys sessions deep in the toy aisles while parents, carts laden with nothing but extra diapers and wine, stood around, bored, chatting and refreshing weather apps.

The kids and I had to go searching to find empty shelves, but find them we did: the SPAM section was totally cleared out. Hawaii, I love you so very much.

The next day, we were bored and the hurricane was slowing down, but still on the prowl, so we dashed over to Kailua Beach to ooooh and aaaaaah over the pleniful man o’ wars blown up on the beach and the single enormous driftwood log. The tide was a little higher than usual. We spent the next few hours at the playground with friends. Hurricane party! Then zipped home before the wind and rain was supposed to start.

Someone described Hurricane Lane as that friend who tells you they’re on their way when they haven’t even left yet, so you wait and wait, and then they cancel anyway. Yeeeeeeah. In the end, the storm fluttered out and exited the party stage left. We were all stocked up with nowhere to go. The most boring (and totally best!) option.

So. This makes three full weeks of school, yet Isaac has not gone to school more than three days on any given week, and both kids have only been in school at the same time two days total. This is what I get for not being ready for school to start!

I am so thankful Hurricane Lane ended up Hurricane LAME for Oahu (not the case for the Big Island and Maui). Thank you to our friends and family who were praying for our protection. There were some moments it felt pretty scarily isolated to have a Cat 5 storm with us in its cross hairs and Chris a hemisphere away… my beloved home is surrounded by a marsh, two drainage canals, and the ocean. So, full disclosure, yeah, I made sure the kids’ life jackets were handy. And I’m so thankful it was all an overreaction.